A Technical Support Request

Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Wife 1.0 also rations the use of my hard drive, which was used more frequently in the past. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can not seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0, but uninstall does not work on this program.

Can you help me?

Disgruntled User

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Dear Disgruntled User:

This is a very common problem which men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. WARNING, DO NOT TRY to uninstall, delete, or purge the program from the system, once installed. Trying to uninstall Wife 1.0 can be disastrous. Doing so may destroy your hard drive or, sometimes even your floppy drive. (See: Bobb. vs Bobb.) Trying to un-install or remove Wife 1.0 will destroy valuable system resources. You can not go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under Warnings: Alimony/Child Support.

Others have tried to run Girlfriend 1.0 in the background, while Wife 1.0 is running. Eventually, Wife 1.0 detects Girlfriend 1.0 and a system conflict occurs. This can lead to a non-recoverable system crash. Some users have tried to download similar products, such as Fling 1.3 and 1.0 Nite Stand. Often their systems have become infected with a virus. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection: Faults (GPFs)

You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push apologize button then reset button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but is very high maintenance.

Regards,

Tech Support

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